I just came from a graduation party of someone who is beyond special to me. Because God put us together for three wonderful years, he will always have a prominent place in my heart. In the beginning of our time together, the stated goal was that I would help this young man develop in skills that he was lacking. That, I did. However, he did far more for me than I did for him. Sure, he can write a multi-page paper now and is not intimidated by classic works of literature. His vocabulary has filled out and he can appreciate a well-turned phrase. That’s great and I’m so proud of his work, but I’m more thankful for how he blessed me.
Before I met him, I thought that my teaching days were coming to an end. Self-doubt crept in and took center stage in my mind. Questions plagued me night and day: Would I ever have a classroom again? Would I ever reach someone again? Is He preparing me for a different career? And most confusing, if that’s what you have for me, God, then why do I have such a strong desire to teach? But that late summer, I carried on and met God’s answer: a teenager who was behind in English. Could I help him?
Hmmm….little did he know how much I would need him. Feeling empty, all his attributes filled me. How thankful I am that I wasn’t ‘full’! How thankful I am that he wasn’t either! As much as people like to have it all and accomplish more and be seen as a capable, competent person, I really don’t wish it on anyone and certainly don’t want it for myself. Don’t get me wrong – some of the ‘all’ I’d sure like to have some days, I like to be capable, and I wouldn’t mind accomplishing more but it’s far better to be half full because then there’s room to be filled.
Earlier this week, someone thanked me for sharing my joy with her. Another encounter allowed a friend and I to pour a little bit of ourselves into the other. My husband is particularly good at discerning cup-levels and then goes to work seeing how he can share himself. This is God at work, people! He’s constantly using us to bless each other. May we have eyes to see it! I love to share myself and I’m getting better all the time at seeing when someone is being used by God to fill me. Thank you God that I’m not full. I’ll take my half-cup any day of the week because someone this week is going to pour into me and I welcome it with open arms.